nashuaworldcup Chapter 225 The Hilarious "Round Onion" in Judge Di's Medicine Box
Chapter 225 The Hilarious "Round Onion" in Judge Di's Medicine Box
Xiao Si: "Why are you complaining about 'round scallions' again? Did Lord Song give you another frank remonstrance?"
Yuan Dan was from Henan. The reason why Xiao Si gave him the elegant nickname "Round Onion" was because the characters "元旦" (Yuandan, meaning New Year's Day) were considered inauspicious, so Xiao Si used a homophone to avoid it.
Sanlang Zian: "Haha, no wonder his courtesy name is Xingchong!"
When "Round Onion" lost her father as an infant, her father followed the royal army to guard the border and died in the Western Turkic War.
His mother, who was frail and delicate, fell ill upon hearing the tragic news and never recovered. Before her death, she entrusted the infant "Yuan Cong" to her maternal grandmother, who was then serving as the Minister of Agriculture. He remembered that when he was a child, "Yuan Cong" would often see his maternal grandmother using a jade ruler to proofread the books collected by his maternal grandfather, Wei Hongji, under the eaves, as he read in the morning. The fragrance of ink mingled with the morning dew.
Xiao Si: "When I was still Mei Xiao Si, I passed the imperial examination and became a Jinshi. After several promotions, I became a Tongshi Sheren. Di Renjie valued him just as much as I valued Di Renjie."
That year, Yuan Dan, a court attendant, rushed into the Di residence carrying two jars of apricot blossom wine, his footsteps echoing loudly on the mahogany floor.
"Lord Di!" He slammed the wine jar down on the table. "I've heard your guests are practically wearing down your doorstep!"
Di Renjie looked up from his desk and saw the young man's crooked scarlet robe and half-fallen turban, making him look like a ruffled pheasant. He couldn't help but laugh out loud: "What strange thing will you show me today, Yuan Sheren?"
"Look at this court of civil and military officials. Those who can pacify the country with their pens are like Dongpo pork, and those who can conquer the world on horseback are like roasted whole lamb." Yuan Dan counted on his fingers, "But when it comes to treating illnesses and saving lives—" He suddenly pulled out a goldfish-shaped pouch from his waist and poured out a bunch of medicine bottles with a clatter, "Angelica sinensis to replenish blood, Coptis chinensis to clear the heart, and as for this humble servant..." As he spoke, he took out a silver needle and waved it in front of Di Renjie.
"Ouch!" Di Renjie feigned evasion. "Just the other day someone came to deliver ginseng and deer antler, and today someone wants acupuncture!"
"No, no!" Yuan Dan suddenly sat up straight, a sly glint in his eyes. "This humble official will make the stone needles for your medicine chest. They may seem inconspicuous on ordinary days, but when those wicked and evil spirits invade—" He abruptly pointed the needle tip at the willow catkins drifting outside the window, "Whoosh! One prick, one stab!"
Di Renjie clapped his hands and laughed, making the teacups on the table tremble: "Yuan Dan, Yuan Dan, what a bold Yuan Dan! No wonder the Sage called you a 'living copy of the Thousand Gold Prescriptions'. Quickly put away your needles; without your potent medicine, my medicine box might not be able to function properly!"
Inside the Jixian Hall Academy, the two old scholars, Ma Huaisu and Chu Wuliang, were hanging out in the Tang Dynasty Library, preparing to implement a plan to purify ancient books, when suddenly they both went offline!
Sanlang Zian was so anxious when he saw this that he slapped his thigh repeatedly: "Who's going to take the blame for this?"
Thus, Comrade "Round Onion" was thrust into the spotlight.
Xiao Si has been extremely busy lately, helping Zi An with his homework, writing annotations for the Classic of Filial Piety, and issuing an imperial edict ordering "Round Onion" to write a commentary for him—a historical task that must be completed.
This curator, nicknamed "Round Onion," had just finished writing an official interpretation of filial piety for the emperor's annotations when he suddenly received a new assignment—to upgrade Wei Zheng's *Classified Rites* into a nationally designated textbook. "Round Onion," along with his two younger colleagues Fan Xinggong and Shi Jingben, worked overtime to produce fifty revised versions, just as they were preparing for a promotion and raise, when suddenly a shrewd competitor appeared!
— Right Chancellor Zhang Yue spoke out directly in court: "Dai Sheng's *Xiao Dai Li Ji* has been popular for a thousand years, so it's naturally worth preserving. But now, your extra task is to attempt an academic revival?! Sun Yan was criticized to death by intellectuals for copying homework back then, and Wei Zheng corrected his work; now you want to give him a second opinion?! If this book can produce good students, I'll do a live stream of myself eating my official scepter!!"
Sanlang Zian thought this made sense, and turned around to stuff the book into the safe: "Just pretend I never read it!"
"Round Onion" was heartbroken. He wrote an article overnight titled "My Experiences of Being Excluded from Academia" to prove his innocence, along with a resignation letter: "This academic circle, let whoever wants to stay, stay! I'm going back to my hometown to grow round onions!!"