nashuaworldcup Chapter 325 Inner Struggle
Chapter 325 Inner Struggle
After returning to the sect, Yun Yao seemed to be in a fog, and her heart was shrouded in endless struggle. Her residence was still quiet, but her heart was like a turbulent sea, with waves rising and falling, and it was difficult to calm down.
Every moment when she was alone, Chu Mochen's figure would appear in her mind uncontrollably. The way he focused on instructing her when they practiced together; the warm smile he occasionally showed when they walked in the mountains; and the concern and affection in his eyes when they looked at each other inadvertently... Every bit of the past was like petals flying in the spring, falling into her heart. Those memories were warm and sweet, but at this moment they turned into sharp blades, piercing her heart again and again.
Yun Yao knew that her feelings for Chu Mochen had never really disappeared. That attachment was like a vine that took root in her heart. Even if it encountered wind and rain and tried to be uprooted, it still stubbornly clung and entangled. She often dreamed in the middle of the night that they were reconciled and walked hand in hand through the mountains and streams, but when she woke up, she was faced with only an empty room and cold moonlight, and the loss drowned her like a tide.
However, fear was like a thick haze, intertwined with attachment, making it difficult for her to move forward. She had witnessed Chu Mochen holding Liu Yan'er, and it was like an unhealable scar. As long as it was touched, the piercing pain would spread throughout her body. She was afraid that this was just an illusory dream, and once she devoted herself to it again, she would be hurt more deeply and painfully. Liu Yan'er's provocation, rumors, those harsh words and malicious slander, although she knew it was a conspiracy, also left scars on her heart, making her lose her original confidence in love.
Yun Yao tried to immerse herself in cultivation, thinking that being busy and tired could dispel the sorrow in her heart. She locked herself in the cultivation room all day, practicing the exercises and guiding the spiritual power to flow through the meridians. But whenever she relaxed a little, her thoughts would involuntarily drift back to Chu Mochen. Once, when she was practicing the control of spiritual power, just because Chu Mochen's face flashed in her mind, the spiritual power in her hands instantly went out of control and almost backfired on herself.
The system sensed Yun Yao's inner torment, and when she fell into deep thought again, it spoke softly: "Host, you can't keep running away like this. When it comes to relationships, only you know whether it's hot or cold. You obviously still have him in your heart, so why don't you give each other a chance?" Yun Yao bit her lower lip tightly, her eyes full of entanglement: "I also want to, but I'm really scared. I don't want to experience that kind of heartache again. What if... what if this is just my wishful thinking, what if he disappoints me again, how should I deal with it?"
The system sighed slightly: "Host, do you still remember your determination when you broke through the foundation-building stage? At that time, you never backed down in the face of numerous difficulties. Why are you so cowardly in front of love now? If you don't take this step, how do you know what the outcome will be? Besides, Chu Mochen has expressed his feelings to you, and you have seen everything he has done for you."
Yun Yao slowly stood up, walked to the window, looked at the moonlight outside, and murmured to herself: "I know he has done a lot for me. When the monster attacked, he rushed to save me without hesitation. At that moment, my heart was really shaken. But I just can't let go of the past. I'm worried that once I accept it again, the pain will come back again."
Memories flooded her back to the past. The sect celebration was a moment she had been looking forward to and wanted to show off her talent, but Liu Yan'er messed it up. The props on the stage went out of control and flew into the audience. The screams of the crowd were still ringing in her ears, and Liu Yan'er's subsequent false accusations made her speechless. If Chu Mochen hadn't produced evidence in time to expose Liu Yan'er's conspiracy, she would have been ruined. Even so, the grievance of being humiliated and misunderstood in public was still unforgettable.
"Host, you can't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Liu Yan'er has received the punishment she deserves, and Chu Mochen's true love for you has never changed. Look, in the days that followed, hasn't he been trying to get closer to you and trying to repair the relationship between you?" The system's voice sounded in his ears again.
Yun Yao nodded gently. Yes, Chu Mochen had indeed been working hard. When she was tired from practicing, he would quietly leave her favorite spiritual fruit outside the door; when he returned from a mission, he would bring her new and strange little items she had never seen before. Although he did not say anything, his intentions were obvious. But every time she saw him, the contradiction in her heart became stronger. On the one hand, she longed to walk side by side with him like before, sharing joys and sorrows; on the other hand, the pain of the past was like a high wall, lying between the two of them, making her hesitate.
She remembered a time when Chu Mochen was practicing swordsmanship in the martial arts training ground of the sect. He was agile and his sword energy was powerful. When she passed by, her eyes were unconsciously attracted and her steps also paused. Chu Mochen seemed to have sensed something and turned to look at her. Surprise and expectation flashed in his eyes. At that moment, Yun Yao's heart trembled suddenly. In panic, she turned around and fled, not daring to face the deep affection in his eyes. Afterwards, she was full of regret and blamed herself for being cowardly, but the next time they met, it was still the same.
Yun Yao paced back and forth in the room, two voices in her heart arguing with each other. One voice said, "Be brave, hold on to this hard-earned relationship, Chu Mochen is worthy of your trust." The other voice reminded her, "Don't forget the hurt you've suffered, don't repeat the same mistakes, you can live well alone."
This struggle made her unable to sleep at night and lose her appetite. When communicating with fellow disciples, she was often absent-minded, which attracted the attention of others. Once, she went down the mountain with her senior sister to train. On the way, the senior sister talked about the sweet and interesting things between herself and her lover, and her eyes were full of happiness. Yun Yao smiled and listened, but her heart was extremely bitter. The senior sister seemed to notice her abnormality and asked softly: "Junior sister Yun Yao, I see that you seem to be worried these days. Have you encountered difficulties in your relationship? If you trust me, you might as well tell me."
Yun Yao hesitated for a long time, but still roughly told her about the entanglement in her heart and her past with Chu Mochen. After listening to her, the senior sister patted her shoulder gently: "Junior sister, I understand your concerns. But the road of love is full of ups and downs. From what you said, Junior Brother Chu Mochen is sincere to you. Now that those misunderstandings have been resolved, why do you still hold on to them? If you keep avoiding like this, you will not only miss a beautiful relationship, but you will also regret it in the future."
The words of the senior sister were like a heavy hammer, hitting Yun Yao's heart. After she returned to the sect, she sat alone by the stream in the back mountain, looking at the gurgling water, and fell into deeper contemplation. The stream was clear and the bottom was visible, and the fish swam freely. Occasionally, fallen leaves fell on the water and drifted with the current. She couldn't help but wonder, would her feelings also be like this, allowed to be carried away by fear and hesitation, and eventually drifted to the unknown distance?
The night deepened and the stars dotted the sky. Yun Yao looked up at the vast starry sky, and there seemed to be a glimmer of enlightenment in her heart. She knew that she could not continue to be in such a state of confusion. It was time to face her heart bravely and make a choice. No matter what the result was, at least there should be no regrets. Just like she bravely challenged the unknown time and time again on the road of cultivation, this time, she would also fight hard for her feelings.
However, when the first rays of sunlight fell in the morning, Yun Yao looked at the familiar scenery outside the window, and her courage was slightly shaken. But she gritted her teeth and secretly made up her mind that no matter what, she would have a good talk with Chu Mochen today and tell him everything in her heart. As for the future, she would leave it to fate...