After dressing as a sick and weak villain

Chapter 103

After blinking for a while, he raised his hand again and rubbed the top of Shen Yin's head: "Xiaoyin, don't be afraid."

"Brother." Shen Yin began to cry, "Did you hear that, can you understand what I'm talking about?"

"Brother will save you. Xiaoyin, don't give up—"

"I don't want you to save me!"

A sharp voice echoed in the ward, "Brother, I'm going to die. Don't you understand the current situation? The doctor said I'm going to die. Why, why don't you cry. What to do, what to do..."

"I'll find a way." The boy lowered his head, a little hair on his forehead covered his eyebrows and eyes.

The voice is always gentle.

"You don't have to worry about anything. You just need to work hard to survive the operation. For the rest, brother will do everything possible. Xiaoyin, you are my last relative in this world. You must live, you must."

"Brother, brother."

Weeping, Shen Yin stretched out that small hand, pulled the infusion tube on the back of the hand, and put it on the back of Shen Chu's hand, "My lungs were severely injured five years ago. I If you don’t live long, if you can survive this time, next time, I will still die—brother, you are different. You are healthy and smart, and you will live better without me. Brother, be strong, don’t Don't do those stupid things for me anymore. I'm okay, I'm not afraid of death at all..."

"If this time, I die."

Shen Yin's icy hand tightly clenched his little finger.

"You must, come out."

The sun was shining warmly on the hospital bed, and the teardrops in the corners of the girl's eyes were crystal clear and beautiful, gradually sliding down, her mouth opened and closed, as if saying something.

His heart seemed to be pierced by something, and he could hardly breathe.

Sweat dripped down his back.

Those incoherent trivial memories are gradually connected.

Scene after scene was excruciating pain.

The clicking of the pen stopped.

The doctor handed over a tissue, and Shen Chu lowered his head, only to see the tears dripping from his chin wet a large area of ​​his clothes.

"Well, what do you remember?"

Shen Chu didn't speak, only tears kept falling, staring and silent, only Xiaoyin's low sobbing sound remained in the dim room.

"I remembered, I remembered..." Shen Chu murmured, "Xiaoyin, I remembered what you said when we met for the last time before your operation."

"What?" Xiaoyin still hadn't recovered.

What she said was, 'If only you hadn't saved me back then.It would be great if only you survived from the beginning to the end.You should have had a happier life. '

That sentence now sounds like a knife-wrenching pain.It was hard for him to imagine how the self at that time, with such a calm expression, silently accepted all these words.

"Why, why do I not remember those. Why do I have memory loss, I, am I just a little scared of blood, and claustrophobic, I..."

The doctor raised his hand to turn on the desk lamp. The summer night breeze was cool and refreshing. Doctor Chen held the window handle and twisted it gently, "Now, let me try to close the window. Don't be afraid, adjust your breathing, slowly, slowly Sink into that memory, and try to see how far you can overcome the palpitations."

The feeling of claustrophobia hit again.

He felt as if someone had grabbed his heart, and he couldn't breathe for an instant.

"Come on, don't be afraid, take a deep breath first."

"Exhale again... yes, exhale..."

"Axie, don't look at the blood, look at me... breathe first..."

Dr. Chen's words were suddenly mixed with an abrupt voice.

He seemed to lose his sense of proportion suddenly, completely losing the ability to breathe again.Doctor Chen had no choice but to open the window again.Fresh air blew into the room, and he pressed his forehead with his hand, lowering his head.

Just now it was—

Jiang Yanchi's voice.

"Miss Shen, don't worry too much." The doctor pushed the glasses frame, "Mr. Shen has indeed relapsed, and I don't understand why he relapsed. However, his condition is much better than before."

"Really." Shen Yin's eyes were red and swollen. She glanced at Shen Chu, then stood up and followed the doctor to the desk, and asked carefully, "Is it really better? But he fainted yesterday because he was in a confined space. space……"

"What's going on. Doctor Chen, what's going on with me." He interrupted Xiaoyin, "Why is my memory incoherent, why am I..."

"The human brain is very delicate. Mr. Shen is a medical student, so he should know something about it. The shadow left in his heart from childhood is too heavy, and the brain cannot bear and adjust. Your stress trauma syndrome is a kind of traumatic manifestation—— ——Mr. Shen’s mother committed suicide twice, once by burning charcoal and once by cutting her wrists. So your corresponding syndrome is claustrophobia and fear of blood. These are the sequelae of your brain injury that cannot repair itself.”

Dr. Chen explained in an orderly manner, but his expression was not serious.

His eyes flicked back and forth between Shen Chu and Shen Yin.

"The stress trauma brings about symptoms similar to your mother's depression - that is, the castration and suppression of negative emotions. Even the memory of excessive negative emotions is also blurred. This is your The brain is a self-rescue measure for the emotional collapse threshold. This forced self-castration, in addition to partial memory blurring and emotional ups and downs, also brings a not very obvious symptom, that is, emotional cognitive impairment. "

"what?"

Shen Chu couldn't believe that Dr. Chen was talking about himself.

"Yes. Patients' emotional ups and downs are often interrupted by forcible suppression, especially negative emotions. For example, they will not be angry after being bullied by their opponents, they will not be angry after being betrayed by a friend, and they will not be sad when some opportunities are missed. At the same time, It is difficult to have emotional dependence on people, expectations, touches, and other positive emotions." Dr. Chen pushed his glasses on the bridge of his nose, "You were very serious about this more than ten years ago. Your teacher also told me Feedback, you are extremely out of group. Behavioral motives are always different from ordinary children. But so far, it is much better than before. Did Mr. Shen do some psychological counseling before... "

"No, my brother hasn't done psychological counseling." Shen Yin also seemed to find it very strange, this was the first time she heard the doctor describe Shen Chu's condition in such detail, and it didn't sound like he could recover easily .

But it was true that I did not do any psychological counseling and treatment back then.

"That's a little strange. Maybe, I have received some stimulation beyond the scope of common sense. Like, hate, fear, sadness... etc., continuous, affect the ups and downs of emotions for a long time, constantly raising the range of mood swings ..."

"All in all, I'm very happy. Even if your condition relapses, it's not as serious as it was more than ten years ago. Once your emotions are torn apart, as long as you cooperate with taking some medicine and doing some beneficial psychological counseling, you will soon recover. It will get better."

Xiaoyin clasped her hands together, put them between her eyebrows, and wiped away the moisture from the corners of her eyes vigorously, "Really, really. Thank you, thank you, Dr. Chen..."

"Brother, did you hear me? He said that even if you relapsed, it's not serious, brother..."

Shen Yin's voice suddenly weakened, observing Shen Chu's expression: "Brother? What's wrong with you."

"I just heard Jiang Yanchi's voice."

"Jiang Yanchi?"

Shen Yin frowned, "... who is it?"

Shen Chu recalled what the doctor said just now, and seemed to sense something was wrong.

After a long silence, he pointed to the opposite window and said, "Go, close it."

Shen Yin was shocked: "What did you say?"

"Close the window." Shen Chu said firmly, "Don't worry, I'll be fine."

"We'll wait until we see the doctor tomorrow..."

"Xiaoyin, trust me."

Shen Yin looked at his brother's eyes at this moment, hesitated for a moment, then nodded vigorously: "Okay, if you are very uncomfortable, I will count to three and if you don't respond to me, I will open it again."

The window closes again.

The pain like being caught in the heart hit again.

He inhaled hard, then exhaled.At the same time, capturing the broken and fuzzy memory.

On the bed, the boy hugged him tightly from behind.

'Because I like you, just do what I like.If you like to kill, I will kill for you.If you want to protect it, I will protect it for you. '

He saw that the smile on the young man's face was satisfied and bright, even showing a half-hearted shyness.

But he still expressed his full heart.

It seems that I am afraid that I will miss a sentence, and I will not be able to understand it.

'Just want to make you happy. '

It was clearly in the summer night, but he seemed to be blowing the biting winter wind of Dawei Xueye, and a chill filled his heart for a moment.

This is the night before he died.

He remembered.

This was the night he told Xu Chunmu's identity and died in Jiang Yanchi's arms.

He heard Jiang Yanchi leaning closer to his ear, with a smile on his lips and starry eyes.

It seemed that he was a little afraid of disturbing his clear dream, so he could only feel anxious and whisper softly, sour and bitter.

'Axie, have you ever liked me? '

Like a child who can't get candy no matter how coquettish he is.

The tone was full of sighs.

' A little bit is fine, is there any. '

His heart was stabbed little by little, and the pain gradually magnified, causing him to lose his breath for a moment, curled up on the bed, and his clothes were soaked in cold sweat.

Seeing this, Shen Yin immediately opened the window again, and hugged Shen Chu tightly from behind: "Brother, brother! It's okay, the window is open, look, it's open, it's okay...it's okay..."

But he couldn't hear his sister's voice.

The surging emotion wrapped in memory completely submerged him from head to toe.

He was dressed as the sinister Chu palm print, and controlled the government of Wei for several years, calling the wind and rain, and doing all kinds of bad things.

Shen Chu always knew that she who was dressed as Chu Xie would definitely die in the end.Such a traitor who bears a cruel fate and is also riddled with debts cannot possibly survive.

But in this fatal game, there is a person who is doing everything possible to save him.

But he didn't know.

From the very beginning, I wanted to die.

In the end, even in order to fulfill Yuan Chu's wish.

He had to use that dying prayer.

The joys and sorrows of Jiang Yanchi's life were imprisoned.

For the next half of his life, he was firmly trapped in the palace built with gold carvings and jade, trapped in the square sky surrounded by vermilion high walls, trapped in the conspiracy of imperial power.

Chu Xie's fate has not been changed, he still died in the deep winter of the year Jiang Yanchi ascended the throne as emperor.

But Jiang Yanchi's fate.

was completely changed.